I must say, when I first heard this song, it did take me somewhere else. Britney’s version, yes, even though most of her songs have the sentimentality of a stockbroker. Only a broken heart could write something like this.
And BFM played Glen Hansard’s version on Tuesday as I was driving to ISKL.
A long drive that always makes me feel so lonely. Even more so now, when everyone is either telling me to be more careful, or that I should get a full time job… or when my closest companions are busy with other things that demand their heart and soul. The connection with them is usually a place for me to put my head when it is too full, and my heart when it is overwhelmed.
I guess, with new things coming my way, it’s a long hike to the outer regions of my comfort zones.
Scary, most of the time not very exciting.
Rachel put it wonderfully.
I’m rather amused that we’re both trying to make our way in the world at precisely the same time, we don’t even know each other.
…That kind of surreal excitement is how I feel right now, on the brink of a big change. In one week, I’ll be leaving my fulltime job as a graphic designer. I’ll be trading in financial security, quick-witted coworkers, and free beer for setting my own schedule, the heavy responsibility of my own success or failure, and the blessing of more time to work on my collection and get a full night’s sleep.
I could write a lot about what went into getting to this place. Maybe I will, in bits. But mostly I just want to say that I am indebted to all of you who have shown me support. Please, please, please continue to support local and independent artists. It is very much appreciated. And if you have a little seed in your heart – one that insists on being nurtured – then for God’s sake, listen to it, no matter how much mud you may have to slog through in the process. There is an ocean out there, if you keep at it long enough, and the water is clear and welcoming.
I sure hope it is. I need to keep going. Sometimes I can barely fathom that.
I have to make it.
Do you ever feel that way?